crafty fanny

friday's confession: I'm a goober

Yes, you heard it here first: I'm a goober.

No, really, I am.

Goober, goofball, joker, whatever you want to call it, that's what I am.

And I'm owning that, because it's one of the things that makes me me. Authentically me.

We set up a post challenge over at Spring this week: What makes you authentically you? so here's my list including the good, the bad, and the ugly:

• I'm a goober (see above)
• I make myself laugh on a daily basis. Seriously, I crack myself up all the time.
• I would like to live in France someday.
• Or just inside an Anthropologie store.
• I am a crazy super fan-girl of The Avett Brothers.
• Giraffes make me swoon. Especially baby ones.
• I want to get married in a barn and dance all night at my wedding.
• I use inappropriate humor to diffuse awkward social situations.
• I am really loud.
• I like karaoke a LOT despite being a horrible singer.
• Champagne at breakfast is one of life's greatest pleasures.
• I fight waking up every single day, but am slowly discovering that I actually am a morning person.
• I have a scary ability to simply ignore mess and clutter and just live my life around it.
• Words of affirmation and quality time are my primary love languages.
• I talk to my dog all day long when I'm alone with her.
• I have an amazing vision for my life that I'm slowly working towards.
• I am insecure.
• I fake confidence until I feel it.
• I love shirtdresses and would wear one every day if I had enough of them.
• Musicals make me crazy. Even bad ones, like Lestat, the Musical.
• I sing a LOT.
• I laugh a lot.
• I smile all the time and don't realize it.
• People have told me that I'm the most cheerful person they know.
• Some people don't get me and think I'm crazy.
• I cry a lot too.
• I love to cook.
• I don't love to clean. In fact, I sort of loathe it.
• I am an artist.
• I'm finding my style as an artist.
• I still have a whole lot to learn.
• I want to make a lot of money in my life so I can spend it all traveling and eating amazing food.
• Watching people play pac-man makes me anxious.
• I'm a worrier.
• When I'm stressed out or nervous about something, I get insomnia.
• At my last day job, I had insomnia for months.
• I almost went to business school for an MBA.
• I'm so glad I didn't go to business school.
• I love children and will have one of my own someday.
• I am fiercely loyal to the people I love.
• I have a tendency to be co-dependent and take care of everyone around me first.
• I love taking naps. If I was President, I'd mandate daily siestas.
• I think our time here is too short to live lives that don't make us feel sparkly inside.
• I want to bring joy into people's lives.
• I think everyone in this world is beautiful. Including you.

Wanna play along?

friday's confession: I'm letting go of the selling.

That's right: I'm letting go of the selling.

But not really (gobuystuff!), it's more that I'm letting go of my focus on the selling. I think that's better.

Here's the thing: I had a Labor Day sale a couple of weeks ago. Everything was 40% off. What a deal! What a bargain! Can you believe it?

Can you believe that I didn't sell a single thing?

And, it's just so freakin' anticlimactic, this selling online thing. You do something SO EXCITING like launch a sale. And then you wait. And then you think, oh I shouldn't just sit and watch my email all day. I should do something fun like go outside and play with my dog.

But you can't.

It feels exactly like waiting for a boy to call.

And when he doesn't call, it feels shitty. Even though I know I'm doing what I should be doing, and I have trust in my vision and my process and my art and I'm just at the beginning of my journey and all that stuff, it still hurts when the boy doesn't call. 

*Sigh* I know that I should tell myself the same thing that I would tell my sweet, beautiful single girl friends who despite being awesome, just can't get the boy. 

When the time is right, it will happen. 

And I know it's true, cause I already got the boy. Now I just need the sales.

So here's my plan: I'm letting go of the selling. Not letting go, really, cause ultimately I'm attempting to run a business, but I'm taking my focus away from it.

It's like when you're single, you can't go out for the night trying to meet a boy. That just leads to trouble. It's almost inauthentic. You will only actually meet the right person when you just go out for you. To have fun. And when you're being you, you'll attract the person.

That's how it works, right? At least that's how it's always worked for me. And like I said, I got the boy. And he's a good one. Like the best.

So the selling is gone from my mind. Now it's about being me. Making art. Grabbing inspiration. And doing it.

And I'm trusting that the sales will come.

Deep Breath.

Go.

friday's confession: I want you to buy stuff!

 

Happy long-weekend-Friday my friends!

I'll be doing the retail thing all weekend, but I know that so many of you will be off and relaxing, and I confess, I want you to buy stuff during said relaxation.

So I'm having a sale! Woot woot! 

From now until Tuesday, all prints and cards are 40% off and all original paintings are 20% off! Your refunds will be issued through paypal upon the completion of each transaction! 

YAY! Happy Weekend Friends!

friday's confession: I don't always feel it.

This confession seems like a really good way to wrap up passion week, especially if any of you are feeling a bit put off because your life isn't crazy blingy sparkling moments ALL THE TIME!

So I confess: I don't always feel it. Not all the time.

And that's okay.

We all need balance in our lives. We can't all run around all the time shouting things like, "OMG, THIS IS THE MOST AMAZING DAY EVER. I FEEL SO MUCH PASSION ALL THE TIME. HOLY CRAP! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?!?!?!" Cause then we'd be manic.

But the key is knowing it's there. Having those things that make you feel like you're living in all caps some of the time. So that when you go back to your lowercase life, you know that there's more out there. You know that there are things out there that make you feel like shouting. That make you feel like you are living your most crazy life. That make the mellow moments feel good even though they're mellow.

friday's confession: i'm saying eff the plan

Last week, I posted this confession on friday: I need a plan. I think this is something that resonated with a lot of you out there, since there are so many of us who are struggling with changing our lives, creating a path for ourselves and generally making our own way in this world.

I expected people to comment on this post, but I was not expecting this comment from the lovely Michelle:

Eff the plan. Get all the ideas out in a big brain dump and put 'em someplace safe. Then look at the list and see what calls out to you. What seems funnest? Easiest? Honor that Renaissance Soul lady! You can always switch gears whenever you want.

Can I please take a moment to tell you all how happy this made me?

Here's what I realized after posting last week and thinking all about the comments y'all left: It's okay to not have a "plan" because I can still get done all the things I want to do. I can naturally develop a plan even without spending days, weeks even, coming up with a schedule for myself.

Then the big light bulb that went off for me: Because there are so many things I want to do for myself, it might take a little longer to get them done since I'm collectively doing so much. And...wait for it...that's okay.

It's okay if it takes a while. I don't have to do it all right now. It's okay if it doesn't all happen immediately.

{Exhale}

That's nice to hear, isn't it?

friday's confession: I need a plan.

I need a plan.

I mean, I have a plan. I have this vision of my life, of where I'm going with myself. I know where I'm heading, what I'm working toward. So I've got that. Goals, visions, etc.

But the plan? I think it's a little lacking.

When I was working with Michelle, I did a Myers-Briggs assessment and found that I am an ENFP. This means, my friends, that I am all about the BIG PICTURE. And I am. Big picture. All the time. I have about 100 big ideas rolling through my head. I'm always thinking about the books I'm going to write, blogs I'm going to start, things I'm going to do, create. Retreats I'm going to lead. All of these big ideas.

And I could spend my whole life coming up with big ideas. My challenge is actually figuring out the little steps needed to make all of these things happen...without losing steam and moving onto the next big idea.

So, I need a plan. I think I need to go spend some time at a cafe writing down my plan. Really figuring out the steps I need to take to make all this amazing stuff happen for me.

Do you have a plan? When you need a plan, what's your favorite strategy for coming up with one?

friday's confession: sometimes I need a break

Sorry, folks, I hate to bust your bubble, but it's true: sometimes I need a break.

And that's why I'm heading out of town for the weekend to take my sweet puppy on her first camping trip!

In other news, I'd like to share this:

It's a sneak peek of a new card that will be coming up in the shop next week taken with my new favorite thing -- the Hipstamatic app. Doesn't my kitchen look cool?

{Currently, my camera is MIA, so new cards in the shop are coming soon. As soon as I find the camera. Word.}

Happy 4th my friends!! Have a lovely and safe weekend!

friday's confession: I am not my etsy shop

I am not my etsy shop. Or my blog subscriber number. Or my followers on twitter.

As an artist, and as a beginner, it's really easy to get caught up in the numbers. How many sales have I had? How many people heart me? How many blog hits do I get per day?

And then once you've figured all that out, it's even easier to get caught up in comparing your numbers to everyone else's. Why do I have less than her? Why are more people visiting her blog than mine...why? Why? Why?

But you know what, we are all more than these numbers. Sure, they might indicate something -- how far you're reaching, how far you have to go, how far you've come. BUT I am constantly reminding myself that -- this journey I'm on? -- these numbers aren't going to make or break me. They aren't going to determine if I'm a success or failure. They aren't saying anything about who I am as a person.

Can I say that again: They aren't saying anything about who I am as a person.

My friends, that is true for all of you as well. I promise.

friday's confession: I can't do it all

That's right: I can't do it all.

{Deep breath}

I can't do it all...and that's okay.

See, I've been feeling all this pressure lately. My etsy shop is up, which is awesome! But now I need to balance packaging orders (I made a sale to a stranger last week! woot!), producing new art, teaching myself photoshop, working on prints (which paper is best? what size? do I need mats? Aah!) with my life. Cause life doesn't stop. It just keeps on rollin' despite your new endeavors.

In addition, I've been taking Kelly Rae Robert's amazing (seriously folks, it's amazing!) e-course and have realized all the marketing type things that I need to get going for myself: a newsletter, new website, facebook fan page...and so much more!

I know I don't have to do everything right away all at once. I know that doing everything all at once is an impossibility. But these are all things I WANT to do. I want to grow my business. I want to get myself well-situated for success. I want to be able to do this full-time. That's my ultimate long-term goal.

This is no secret to any of you.

Now, in the midst of all of this (plus the life-juggling part), I committed to doing another Waves to Wine charity bike ride in September. Have y'all seen a calendar lately? Cause let me tell you: September is only 3 months away.

3 months. 150 miles.

But hold on a second, life. I barely have time to clean my house. When am I going to find the time to actually train for this (pretty challenging) bike ride?

I realized that I wasn't. I wasn't going to find the time. Something else would have to give. And I started thinking about my priorities. What I felt like my focus really needed to be on, where I really wanted to put my energy.

Side note: I have a very hard time letting go of obligations, but sometimes I have to say no, or back out, or just not do things. But if I've committed to something, it is like pulling teeth to get me to back out. I fight it. Hard. 

And so I backed out. I felt horrible doing it, but the more I thought about it, I realized: I don't really have much choice. And as I develop this part of my life, as I really put my focus toward being an artist full-time, I'm going to have to make these hard choices. I'm going to have to put other things aside, despite how important they may be to me. I am going to have to make concessions. And I'm going to have to be okay with that.

I'm thinking that it's going to get easier over time. I'm already starting to feel more okay with this decision.

friday's confession: I surprise myself

Here's what I realized a few days ago: there is now way that I could have planned out where I am in my life right now, at this moment.

Hear me out.

If you had told me five years ago that I would leave my good-paying with benefits job at a well-respected San Francisco non-profit where I was working as an Events Manager (my dream job, y'all) to take a retail job and branch out into the scary unknown of starting my own business and working for myself, I would have told you that you were straight-up crazy. Crazy!

And look where I am now.

If you had told me just six months that I would start painting (what!?) after just a single weekend retreat and that I would have an etsy shop showcasing said paintings and I'd be well on my way of becoming a professional artist and card designer, I would have told you that you were delusional. 

And look where I am now.

What I've realized is that I didn't get here by making some crazy leap. I got here by taking single steps, every day, one at a time.

Sometimes the big picture can be really scary. Sometimes looking at where you want to be, figuring out how to get there all at once, can by absolutely paralyzing.

Sometimes all you need to do is take just one step. And then one more.

You might just surprise yourself with how far you can go.